longerthanwedo

dear flist,
How are you all? This is my first personal post in a long time; I didn't even notice. But it's not completely random. I'm here because as of approximately two minutes ago, I passed the 15,000 word mark in my story for

spnslashbigbang , thus finishing it (because no way can I write something over the minimum word count). The drafts are due on November 1st, and I don't think they need to be beta'd by then, but I will be needing a beta (or two) before the finals are due. I usually do a pretty good job of betaing myself, grammar and spelling-wise, but if someone is willing I'd like to have a second opinion (third, fourth, etc.). Someone to tell me what they like, what they don't, if something's awkward or repeated or out of place. Or, you know, if it's terrible and needs to be re-written. Along those lines. The story is called Mercy Mercy (Fighting for Nothing), contains spoilers up through the end of Supernatural season five (after which point it becomes AU), has character death (multiple, even), and incest (Sam/Dean, but nothing NC-17). If you're interested, I'll be forever grateful. I believe that is all. I'll leave a little snippet of my fic (Dean's POV, a bit of introspection) here to entice you all:

***

His life is loud but his dreams are quiet.

Always flat colors and swirling fog, muted sound and senses. Even his nightmares; even his nightmares are calm. Despite his terror, despite his cold sweat and wide eyes, he’s walking in his ideal world. Warm and soft and unthreatening.

His utopia. His dystopia.

His worst fears integrated into his fantasies; his dreams are liars. They tell him what he wants to hear. That he’s safe, here; Sam’s hand on his. That they’re happy; Sam’s laugh and smile.

There’s nothing to fear.

And Dean wants to scream because he wants it, he wants it. Wants calm, wants sleep, wants Sam, wants out.

It’s his idea of heaven, but better.

He doesn’t know why he wakes himself up.

***

There you are. A short bit, but it's spoiler-free and I enjoy it. Tell me what you think, and your help is much appreciated.

♥,
Shawna